I’ve never had the flu in my life.
Until yesterday, I had never had the flu. Alas, after spending three hours at the doctor’s office, after chest and sinus x-rays, and after having stuff jammed up my nose (flu test), down my throat (strep test) and in my arm (the dreaded bloodletting), it was confirmed: My body has been in-flu-trated. (Sadly, I can’t take credit for that last pun; my boyfriend deserves all the glory. What can I say? Like minds think great. Or something.)
Everything was just dandy this past weekend, but as I drifted off to sleep on Sunday, I noticed my throat was feeling a little sore. Monday, it was a little worse, but not terrible. But then, at around 2pm on Monday, it was like someone flipped a switch. I felt achy and tired and my face was all flushed. Basically, I felt like this:
Gorgeous, I know.
After I came home, I was hit with chills only to be sweating like crazy minutes later, a horrible pounding headache, and a sunburn-like feeling on my back. It was bad. Then I started wheezing and couldn’t stop coughing. I placed more than one call to my momma, not going to lie. She knows when I need the long-distance babying via phone.
Yesterday morning I still felt awful and knew I should probably go to the doctor. I managed to find my thermometer, and the news wasn’t good. The sad thing was, that wasn’t even the worst of it. When I finally made it back to the area where they took my vitals at the doc, the nurse looked at the thermometer in astonishment. “This can’’t be right…it won’t stop going up.”
After casually whispering “That’s what she said,” under my breath, I told her that I thought my thermometer was broken because it kept giving me such high readings. She asked what the highest reading I got was, and I told her 101.8. When it finally stopped ticking at the office, it landed on 102.2.
On top of that, my blood pressure was super high. I get White Coat Syndrome really bad, and I cannot stand the thought of needles or even having my throat swabbed. Sadly, that was all in the cards for me.
In the way of lab work, I had to had a throat culture done, which I used to think was the worst. I soon found out that was cake compared to the flu test. They have to jab this long stick up your nose—on both sides. The second go round, she had to do it twice because it got caught on my nose ring. Splendid.
Then came the bloodletting. It wasn’t too bad, especially after I convinced her to do it on my arm instead of my finger. I requested some juice and crackers, because I usually get really sick when I have to get pricked. (Insert obvious joke) Case in point: When I had my Gardasil shot, I almost passed out and had to lie down. For the next two visits I had to get the remaining shots, they had a juice box waiting on me each time. Here’s what I got:
Room service it ain’t. That’s Ritz crackers and a liquid glucose drink. (Oh, and My Life in France. I needed it after I finished the 1st book I brought while waiting.) It did make me feel better, considering I had not been able to eat anything since about noon.
Anyway, after all this and also having chest and sinus x-rays, another first for me, the doctor loaded me up with expensive prescriptions and work excuse for the next 3-5 days. In addition to my pills, I’m self-medicating:
Add to that alternating air conditioning and extra blankets when necessary, a stack of good books, Netflix instant queue, and plenty of soup.
Have you ever had the flu? Or are you practically super-immune like me? What are some of your personal feel-better solutions? I thought about Samantha’s no-fail Fanta/cough syrup drink remedy but decided against.