That was fun, wasn’t it?
Sometimes I feel like I didn’t have quite the same college experience as everyone else. I went to a small (less than 10,000 students) , non-SEC (though our football team DID beat Ole Miss this past year) school that was largely made up of non-traditional students. I commuted for two years, driving 35 minutes each way, every day.
But it all changed 2 years later—I moved to Jacksonville in summer of 2005.
And oh—I’m well aware of that blazing grammatical error above our heads. I pointed it out to someone behind the bar once and received a very hearty “fuck off”,” in so many words.
Why am I telling you all of this? Jonathan and go back to Jville every once in a while, for homecoming or to see friends. But mostly, it’s for events relating to his fraternity. This week, we headed to town for a dinner with his brothers. As I enjoyed my one and only glass of wine, I took the time to observe. And I came to this conclusion:
College girls are ridiculous.
But as I watched girl after girl slosh down beer and sangria, grinding up on both male suitors and sequined gal pals, I felt sorry for them. It’s one thing to go out and have a good time, but these girls just screamed insecurity to me. As I walked from the bathroom to the dining area, I passed a younger girl yakking into a phone about how “Lindsey (maybe that was her name??) is puking in the bathroom! She’s, like, totally freaked out.” I also can’t tell you how many times I saw people snapping photos and saying loudly, “I’ll totally put this on Facebook.” Ah, technology.
Not all the girls were drunk and disorderly. I have to give some of them credit. But the rest of them? I saw people walking around barefoot, even outside on the wet ground, where it was, oh, I don’t know, 30 degrees? Not too mention that walking around sans shoes at a fraternity house (where the party later made its way to) is just tetanus waiting to happen. Girls were vomiting in the bathroom of the freaking Hampton Inn, falling down on the dance floor much to the delight boys itching for a sneak peek. Not to mention most were wearing dresses that made me feel like a grandma. My claims of ridiculousness were further substantiated by the empty bottle of apple-flavored vodka I found in the bathroom.
I enjoyed college, I really, really did. We didn’t really do the whole fraternity house thing, we mostly hung out in karaoke bars.
Eh what are you gonna to do?
As I looked on at the kiddies college girls and boys having a good time, I felt a little wistful. I made the best friends at JSU, and I had some of the best stories from my four years there. But then, after watching a girl wearing what I can only describe as a hand towel spill her fruit-garnished beverage all down her scanty dress as she busted her ass on the fluid-covered floor, I chuckled to myself in my old age.
I do miss that time in my life. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, ups and downs included. And while I didn’t join a sorority or spend my days living it up Greek-style with a solo cup glued to my hand, I still ended up with a frat boy.
Who woulda thought? At least he doesn’t take himself too seriously.
Can you believe that Jonathan and I were at the same school, in the same department, for 4 years and we never met? It was the spring before we both did internships in Birmingham that we were formally introduced—at a bar, no less.
Do you ever miss college? What’s your favorite memory? And most importantly—would you do it all over again?