I’ve done spinning a few times…however, all these times have been separated by a few weeks—or months. Why is that, you ask? I think it’s because I keep thinking it’ll be different. It hardly ever is. I want to love spin; I really do. This sweet girl I work with goes several times a week and always asks me to go, but honestly, I like being able keep my legs from feeling like overcooked pasta noodles.
The last time I took a self-imposed beating spin class, I think I came up with the reason why I keep going back.
The Five Stages of Spinning
- Denial: Me: “Of course I’ll go to spin class with you! It’ll be superawesome, I just know it!” This is the beginning. I like to workout. I run, do the elliptical. I’ve always wanted to get into spinning but have been unsure about trying it out…or my last memory of being on the spin bike has just mysteriously disappeared. This feeling continues through the opening stretches and flat road warm-up. Feeling good.
- Anger: Me: “You bitches—you brought me here! I hate you! I hate you!” My legs: “You bitch! You brought us here! We hate you! We hate you!” It’s about, oh…five minutes into the 45-minute class I was dragged into came to by my own choosing. My legs are wobbly and fatigued and I feel like if I’m not careful I’ll slump over into third position and inadvertently tangle my legs in the pedals. I can’t breathe. Everything burns.
- Bargaining: Me: “What time is it? That clock can’t be right…ok, self. You can make it 5 more minutes…if you can just make it 5 more minutes, ice for your legs and ice cream for your mouth…what do you mean, it’s only been a minute and a half?!?” I’m ready to cry. I think that the instructor can’t possible expect me to stay out of the saddle for an entire song. I can’t hold myself up, but I keep telling myself if I can make it to the end of the chorus…then the next verse…then the next. Between constantly whipping my head around to check the clock on the wall and trying not to throw up on myself, I become delirious.
- Depression: Me: “Oh, God…this class is never going to end. I’m going to invent a new position four, in which I lie on the floor the fetal position, weeping into the sweat-soaked carpet. I just want to die.” I’m doing a combination of perspiring and crying, disguising the latter with the former. I refuse any encouragement and “You can do it!” motivation from fellow spinners or the instructor. Let me just pass out already.
- Acceptance: Me: “Whoa, what? We’re stretching already? Hm…that wasn’t so bad. I mean, I’m done right?” This moment comes towards the end of the class, when you’re stretching out all the parts of your body that are going to revolt against you that evening/next morning. I think it’s also combined with a dash of denial: Me: “Ohmygosh, I’m totally coming back in a few days! I love spin! I want to do it 5 times a week!” That sentiment usually comes a few hours later when I’m boasting to my friends that “I went to spin.”
As I said, I want to love spinning. I do. But no matter what I try to do, I cannot make it through an entire class without feeling like I might collapse. And it’s not one of those good fatigues for me. Maybe my legs need to be stronger. Maybe I need to try immersion therapy and go several times in a week. Or maybe I need to load up on Darvocet.
Do you go to/like spinning? How often do you do it? Do you think it gets easier?