On Wednesday, I was lucky enough to attend a small, informal dinner party over at the home of Jennifer and Dennis. Last year, Dennis purchased a big-boy condo that’s just a few minutes away from my current apartment, and Jen decided to give up her one-bedroom apartment to rent a room. It’s so nice to have two of your friends living in the same place. Hanging out becomes kinda like killing two birds with one stone socializing two friends with one beer run.
Anyway, on the agenda was lasagna, and I decided to bring some bread. (I also made some yummy lemon muffins; recipe to come.) I headed over to the Publix for tasty food and great service. Honestly, if you ever have the opportunity to go into a Publix supermarket, do yourself a favor and walk in. The people are always so friendly, no matter where the store is. They’re also really helpful—I asked a man in the meat department to slice a spaghetti squash for me once, and he was all too happy to comply. (Whatever you do, though, be conscious of your surroundings in the Publix—you never know what might happen.)
So. I’m choosing between a multi-grain baton and a whole-wheat baguette when something catches my eye. I see two women dressed in what looked like my shepherd’s costume worn during 1991’s Christmas play at my church. I got a little closer, and what did I see?
I have never really seen nuns out and about in the real world. I tried to peek into their carts, though I wasn’t really sure what I was expecting—communion crackers? Buy one get one holy bottled water? As I approached I saw that one of the women was a on a cell phone. I wasn’t attempting to eavesdrop, but I heard her anyway. “Ok, so that’s two Diet Rites, and three boxes of Cheez-Its? What else? Cheerios?” I felt let down that they weren’t making more interesting purchases.
I carefully edged around them. I don’t know if I was afraid that they might attempt to exorcise my dirty mind or condemn me for all the nun puns running through my head at that moment. As I was preparing to turn down the cereal aisle to see what else I didn’t need to buy, I saw a Publix employee approaching the two chaste shoppers.
At first it appeared that this employee might have been acquainted with the nuns. I soon realized that she wasn’t. Said employee jauntily walked over, propped herself up against the end cap of aisle three, leaned over, and promptly said, “So…do you wear any real clothes under those things? Or just like, nun clothes?”
I have the give the nun credit. She held her cool and explained that yes, they do wear clothes underneath. The inappropriate women nodded her head, and proceeded to take a breath, presumably to ask another ridiculous question. Uncomfortable, I quickened my pace to the Fiber One beckoning me from the other end of the aisle.
I couldn’t help but think this would make a great party conversation starter. “So, two nuns walk into a supermarket…”
Have you ever seen nuns walking the earth among normal folks? Am I weird for finding it so out of sorts? What strange characters have you seen while grocery shopping? (Wal-mart is a whole different story. I feel that the nuns would be a drop in the bucket compared to the abominations I’ve witnessed at Wally World.)